We’ve owned a home for a little over two years. I really don’t know that much about homeownership because, let’s be honest, if I were single, I would still be sharing a studio apartment in center city Philadelphia (it was much more posh than it sounds). I know that money disappears from our bank account on the first of every month and that there seems to be a lot more chores these days. And also …
1. Gutters apparently need to be cleaned. Fences fall down sometimes, and shingles come off. My solution is to always call someone. Then I remember that Travis knows how to fix things.
2. Inevitably, two years in, you will begin to hate the color of the paint on your walls. Switch your lightbulbs, throw up a couple photos, and save yourself a ton of money and time. (You’re welcome.)
3. The FedEx man always comes and rings the doorbell when you aren’t wearing pants. Every.single.time. In apartments, they just leave it in your mailbox. But when you’re in a home, they see you run from the living room, pant-less, and into your bedroom.
4. Also, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WEAR PANTS. It’s your house. Do watchu want girl.
5. “They” tell you to pay an extra mortgage payment every year to pay down your house faster. “They” have obviously never been to Nordstrom Rack. Or to Chipotle. Or shopped with an Amazon Prime account. Priorities, man.
6. Rooms need furniture. Guests need couches to relax in, chairs to sit on, and sometimes beds to sleep in. I also think there is a conspiracy that once you get married and especially when you buy a house, everyone expects things to match. The dishware and cups, sheets and pillowcases, etc. It’s like, “We know you just spent all your money on this down payment, but real adults have matching things.” Bye bye Dave and Buster’s glassware and jersey t-shirt sheets from college I guess.
7. When things break and you can’t call your landlord to fix it, smile and remember how much money you saved by not paying that extra mortgage payment last year. Also, IKEA.