I heard recently that there are 50 people moving to Denver each day. While I’m not sure if this is 100% true, it sure does feel like it. Roads are busier, there are longer waits at restaurants, and the pot smoke cloud is thicker.
In case you’re a potential new Denver resident, here is what you should know about living in Denver:
1. If you want to rent a house (or an apartment, room, or closet), you better be making more than $50,000 a year. Seriously.
2. Beer makes you fat, so like, why even come? Denver has one of the highest breweries per capita rates in the country. I’m allergic to it, so that’s nice. We should start focus on wineries out here in the desert.
3. Strangers talk to you. Always. When I first moved here, I was startled to the point of gasping almost every time I went out in public. I could put headphones in, put my nose in a book, or just be generally rude and stand-offish and strangers would always insist on talking to me. They still do. You know when strangers talk to you in Philadelphia? To yell at you. Why can’t we all be just a little more Philadelphian Denverites?
4. People always talk about how close we are to the mountains. And it makes me laugh. Because Denver is to the mountains what Lancaster County is to the beach: at least and hour or two away.
5. Dogs are allowed in restaurants. I can’t tell you the number of places I’ve been where dogs just walk in as if they are humans.
6. The Rockies are younger than me. I don’t get it. I don’t understand how a team that has barely been around two decades has a following. You know how long the Phillies have been around? More than a century.
7. In all seriousness, Denver is one of the best places in the country to live. I just didn’t want to write all the great things about Denver and have more people show up here. I totally get why everyone is moving here. But be warned: the natives don’t like you for taking up space on their roads/bike lanes/campgrounds. Prepare to defend your decision to move. And no, “It really sucked to live in Nebraska” isn’t an excuse.