Guys. I don’t do What I Know About Wednesday posts on this blog anymore. They are exclusive content that my email subscribers get on the first Wednesday of every month (along with some other amazing stuff). Lucky for you, it’s SUPER easy to subscribe to my emails! Do it!
I wanted to share this one on the blog because it’s pretty special and I thought you guys might enjoy it. Thanks for reading; I will never not appreciate it!
On September 24th, I will have been married for five whole years. I think this is sort-of hilarious as I feel like an 18-year-old most days. I remember my first day of high school and my 10th birthday party and my first college soccer game the same way I remember my wedding day: I was young. I was equal parts confident and nervous. And I was about to make some mistakes.
It’s been five years. I’ve learned some things. What I know about being married:
1. No one spends their money the same way. Case in point: Travis (my husband) buys EIGHTY-FIVE DOLLAR headphones. Because the sound is “very important.” Beyonce is Beyonce no matter what, bro. I hear her loud and clear in my off-brand earbuds I purchased from Marshall’s. Similarly, he has some thoughts on the price of women’s athletic gear, but ladies: leggings are not all created equal, #amiright?!
2. There are two types of people in this world: cuddlers and non-cuddlers. I assumed no one cuddled while they slept. Until I got married. Travis loves to cuddle. Always. Even at 3:00 in the morning—maybe especially at 3:00 in the morning. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good snuggle. But if I’m sleeping, “Get your hands off me!” I get, um, very warm, when I sleep. And having a 6’6″ man draped across me like a flesh blanket makes me want to be single sometimes.
3. You don’t need to stress, pre-marriage, about how you will split up the chores. It just kind-of happens. For instance, I literally cannot reach our dumpster over the fence, so Travis always takes the trash out. Also, I am a small person and he is a large one and he wears real-people clothing to work and I don’t so his laundry is harder so he does all the laundry. Oh and I’m very bad at dishes so he does them. I’m also bad at cleaning so I pay someone else to do that. The lesson here is that if you just don’t do any chores, the other person will do them all, ok?
4. GOING OUT TO DINNER DOESN’T COUNT AS A PRESENT. EVER. This is not something that I learned about marriage, but it is absolutely something that Travis learned during our first year of marriage on my birthday. I only included it to make sure he remembers, because I’m sure I haven’t brought it up since then.
5. Having more than one bathroom is important. Do I need to explain this one? I don’t think I do.
6. The things you love about your spouse are the very same things that make you want to stab them with a fork. Travis does not make the wrong choice. Ever. He has this unbelievable ability to stay calm and neutral and consider every option and then pick the best one 100% of the time. As you could imagine, this takes time. So.much.time. I am one of the single most impatient people I know (some might say that this correlates to my less-than-stellar decision making). His pace is so slow that I think sometimes my heart may stop while I’m waiting for him. I love how deliberate he is. I hate that everything takes forever always.
7. It’s the best hard thing I’ve ever done. People tell you lots of things about marriage, mostly that it’s very difficult. But they can’t tell you what will be difficult. Like that your spouse doesn’t even notice dead moths all over your house. They can’t tell you what you will fight about or what trauma may happen that will change you both into new people that you have to learn how to love and like all over again. But they also can’t tell you how incredible it is that someone will spend their life researching your hurts, your loves, your quirks, and your darkness, only to come up for air and say, “I love you.” They can’t tell you what it feels like to be profoundly understood, defended, and cherished. They can’t tell you the poems you will write for each other, the meals you will cook, and the sacrifices you will make. They can’t tell you that. Because there aren’t words for it. It’s marriage. And it’s the best hard thing I’ve ever done. (I love you Travis. Thank you for every single day of our life together.)